You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
