Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
only you would photoshop your dick
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We are all done wearing pants today
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
