Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
