ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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