apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
