turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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