So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
