It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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