yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
