Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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