I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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