what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
