So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
