Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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