bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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