let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
