i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize