so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
