Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
