are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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