3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
