Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
