Dual....:-)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
