Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
