I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
