Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
