That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize