Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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