I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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