I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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