She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize