Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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