it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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