I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
