69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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