omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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