Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
