Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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