Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I love you. Go after that dick
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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