Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
