worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
