the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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