Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
