I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
