It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
