this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
