I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
