haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
No subtext here. People are naked.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's official drugs can't kill me
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
