You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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