Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
