He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
