I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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