I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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