maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
