are you still at the devil's house?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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