Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
