Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
