That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
