Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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