Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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