I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
