I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
