All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
