Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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