My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
