trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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