Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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