Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Hippo gnu deer
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I deserve this hangover.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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