After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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