you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm at about main and main street
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
